Excerpt from Kevin Schoeppel’s book God’s Purpose for Psychics …and Everyone!
Getting honest and raw about my emotional experience coming to terms with my gifts!
Jennifer Lonnberg gave me a great first-hand account of the emotional struggles, guilt feelings, and fear that go along with denying the psychic side of you to the outside world. In this excerpt from her latest book The Secret Experiences of a Closet Psychic she writes:
So here I am living this “decent” life and feeling guilty that I wasn’t more grateful, and feeling sorry for myself that my life was just blah… and honestly, I couldn’t even quite pin point the problem. So, I got really honest and vulnerable with myself and asked “what is your problem?”
Well… Here’s what I came up with:
I felt like I wasn’t living my authentic purpose, and I felt guilty that I wanted more… Here’s the thing: at the root of this, I was denying the psychic part of me. I’m normal…kind of…or so I was trying to pretend. Even in the searching of self-help and bible studies, I was leaving that part of me out.
My family knew I was “intuitive” … but I was trying desperately to hide that psychic part of myself from everyone “on the outside.” This was something we only talked about privately in the safety of our home and even then, sometimes we skirted around it.
Basically, what it came down to was that I was denying myself. My truth.
Denying who I really was / am.
When I finally realized I was denying myself, I knew there was some work to be done. I couldn’t keep living my life trying to be “me” without really truly being ME.
Can you identify with Jennifer? If you do, I would strongly recommend reading her entire book. She knew first that in order to be happy, she had to be living her life purpose. And to do that, she had to let her psychic gift be known to the world. I could never put into words what that feels like as well as Jennifer put it:
I wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt anyone by keeping the psychic part of myself hidden. I honestly was so afraid of what they would think of me IF they knew I was psychic…and at that point in time, I was still in denial myself. This whole embracing the “curse” as I thought it was at the time was still a huge struggle. Part of me still couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me and why I was like this. I hadn’t asked for it. I had actually prayed for it to go away. Many times I had felt so overwhelmed by it all I just would scream out to God and cry. WHY? WHY ME?
Jesus himself said “I tell you the truth, no prophet is accepted in his own hometown.” (Luke 4:24, NLT) However, just after I published my first book, that’s exactly where Melanie went to do a group reading—her home town of Coolidge, AZ. She had done them in Bullhead City and Kingman, AZ, but never in her home town before. Melanie had once said to me, in talking about growing up there, “There were many people I could not discuss my gift with. Little did I know then that most of these people my grandmother was referring to would be my own relatives.” And it was possible that some of those very relatives could be coming to the group reading. None did, however.
I really encourage anyone who is struggling with coming to terms with their gifts to read Kevin’s first book, and also my book :
The Secret Experiences of a Closet Psychic: Yes Christians Can be Psychic.
Till next time~
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